How to Change a Behavior

Often, changing a behavior that is ingrained in us, like a habit, seems impossible. Many of us lack the motivation to change the behavior, partly because it seems that the behavior is rewarding in some way. But some of these behaviors are behaviors we would like to change, maybe because we know that it would benefit us in the long run, by making our life healthier or easier. Below are some ideas about how to change that behavior.

It Can Take Up to 21 days to Truly Change a Behavior

To begin, choose one unhealthy or unhelpful habit that you would like to change or eliminate.
Then decide on the date you will begin your behavior change. Make sure this is the date you want, and then write it down. For example, “On March 1st, I will exercise ten minutes each day”.” Count 21 days from that date and mark that date down. Now, make a commitment that you will follow your plan for 21 days.

Helpful Suggestions

• Write down your goal because that reinforces your commitment. Write the goal in positive terms, such as “ I will walk ten minutes every day” instead of saying “ I have to get my flabby body moving”.
  
• List the reasons for changing or eliminating your behavior. This will help you see what this behavior means in your life and how your life will be different after the change.
  
• Find substitute routines. For example, if you are changing your eating habits, identify a particularly difficult time of the day when eating habits are poor, create an activity, a new routine for that time. For example, if you eat something unhealthy when you first get home from work, find a way to do something that will keep you from doing that, like going upstairs to do something away from the kitchen until the urge leaves you.
  
• Talk to yourself. Tell yourself that you are making progress. Remind yourself that you are moving closer to your goal. Talk to yourself throughout the day about how you are going to avoid triggers that can get you off track an make healthy substitutions.
  
• Recruit helpers for support. Explain to them why you are making this change. Ask for their support, which will give you encouragement.
  
• Be prepared for some people to sabotage your change. Some times people don’t like it when you don’t fit the mold that they think you should and it makes them uncomfortable. Be aware of this possibility and be assertive with them.

Keeping Up Your Motivation

The following are some suggestions to follow each day in order to keep up your motivation:

• Review your list of reasons for quitting or changing.
• Create in your mind a picture of yourself as having already succeeded with your behavior change.
• Make positive self-statements about your habit change. For example, “ I have so much more energy now that I am exercising every day”.
• Reward yourself. Make up a list of self-rewards and reward yourself verbally as well.
• Take it one day at a time. If you backslide, don’t give up. Take out your list of reasons for making the change and begin again. Remember, you will succeed as long as you don’t give up.

Being tired, bored, depressed or stressed can make it difficult for you to stick with your program. You may think that other things are more important and not put in the effort. However, nothing is more important than taking care of you. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of you.

Having a relapse is not as important as how you deal with that relapse. If you become discouraged and question your good intentions or the value of what you are trying to do, then it will make the behavior change harder for you. But if you allow for an occasional relapse and use it as valuable information that teaches you something, then you are on the right track.

If you follow the all of the above suggestions, adopt the helpful attitude of evaluating your progress and accepting relapses, you will find yourself reaching many of your goals.